Sweat

Two nights ago, we enjoyed pad thai outside on the patio in the 95˚ at 9pm weather. A bit later, we laid down to go to sleep. Brennan kept the door from our room to the back yard open, along with the window. I didn't want to, I thought it would get too cold.

In the middle of the night, I woke up with a sore throat, damn it, I knew it would be too cold. I closed the door and the window, he got fussy. I woke up around 7am, with a killer sore throat. So tea and soup it was for breakfast, though it was already reaching 80˚ around 8am.

At 11, we went to go sign the paperwork on our new apartment, him not feeling so hot as well, we decided to take the bus instead of walking. We got there, signed the papers, I handed over my first check ever for rent+deposit. I was feeling sicker and sicker by the moment. We walked to the Trader Joes, picked up OJ, Emergen-C, avocados, mango, and some other treats for sick sick Dom.

All day yesterday, my body was in excruciating pain. I couldn't swallow with out cringing violently, I cried each time I woke up from the throbbing pain in my legs/lower back, and I slept in increments of 4 hours.

Last night, I woke up, several times, dripping in sweat. You could imagine that I had just jumped out of the pool there was so much water on me. Our poor bed sheets. They need to be washed, again, after only one day.

This morning when I woke up at 5, the pain in my lower body was pretty much gone, and I didn't feel as dizzy/sick as I did yesterday. But the sore throat persists. So much, that last night at 11 or so, I gave up on talking, and wrote notes to Brennan instead.

In the middle of the night, I randomly woke up with the thought "tonsillitis". And of course, this morning, the first thing I do is look up symptoms of tonsillitis. I am convinced I've got it. I just have to look in the mirror and check to see if little pus pockets have formed on my tonsils yet.

eeeep!

Strawberry Mango Crisp

Fruit Mixture:
4 cups quartered strawberries
2 cups mango, diced
4 tbsp. sugar
4 tbsp. flour

Topping:
1 cup flour
1/2 cup rolled oats
1 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) margarine


Preheat the oven to 400˚ F.
Mix the ingredients for the fruit mixture together in a large bowl. Spread evenly into a 2-quart casserole dish. Set aside. Mix the dry ingredients or the topping together in a medium bowl. Cut in the margarine until the mixture resembles small peas. Spread the topping evenly over the fruit mixture. Bake for 35 to 45 minutes, until bubbly. Server warm with nondairy "ice cream".

He made a mixture of lentils, beans, and curry for dinner. Served it on a fresh white bowl, he walked away with it into the other room.

"What am I going to eat?" she called after him.

"I don't know."

Meal Ideas

[ B R E A K F A S T ]
tofu scramble and soy sausage · vegan pancakes · soy yogurt · fruit smoothie · bagel or toast with peanut butter and jelly · oatmeal or other hot cereal · cereal or granola with soy, rice, or nut milk

[ L U N C H ]
bean burrito · grain or soy burger · vegetarian hot dog · vegetarian lunchmeat sandwich · baked tempeh or tofu sandwich · tofu tempeh, or seitan stir-fry · tofu lasagna · pasta and tomato sauce · lentil soup

[ D I N N E R ]
falafel wrap with lemon tahini dressing · cajun-style beans and rice · vegetarian chili with mixed green salad · bbq tofu with corn on the cob · vegetable shish kabobs

Tofu Scrambler

1 package of firm tofu, mashed
1 packet of tofu scrambler seasoning
olive oil to wet
salt to season

Mix ingredients in a large mixing bowl. Fry mixture in a large iron skillet till browned. Server alone, with salad, with bread, or fried tomatoes.

"It's pretty much ready," she calls to him in the living room, after teasing him for 15 minutes about how good her lunch was going to be.

She moves from the skillet to the sink. Early start on washing up to make things easier later. The flame is still medium-low, the scramble keeps cooking.

He comes in an sits at the table. A minute passes. She still washes and scrubs at the prep dishes and his breakfast dishes. The scrambler still is burning. She looks over at her shoulder at him. He returns the gaze.

"Were you expecting me to serve you?"

He pops up. "No. I was just sitting."

He clamors his way through the dishes to find suitable one. He selects one sitting underneath six others. He pulls it out and closes the cabinet. He pours himself enough food to feed her for two days. He selects a fork in the deepest part of the drawer, searching through all the silver and wood and plastics. All the spoons and chopsticks, knives and forks. She wonders if they too, remain as still as possible hoping he'd think they were asleep.

When he is done groping his fingers in dark places in search of that one item he wants, he kisses her briskly on the cheek and begins to leave the room. Just before he exits, he looks back and says, "You know, I always serve you when I make meals."

When you always make meals. The only meal you've made in the past month has been the one last night that I asked you to make. And even then, when I asked for friend linguini, you gave it to me boiled. Plain.

She wonders what he thinks.

Fly Away

The humming bird flitters everywhere saying hello and visiting everyone without pause. She flies, shines her bright iridescent chest, never for a pause. Not once do we see her rest. No, she cannot rest. We will not let her. We must see the bright reds and greens flip about. W must bathe in her happy hum. We must be amused by her midair dance. She will hypnotize us, and dazzle and amaze. She will be beautiful, always on display.

It is for our amusement she will never rest. It is for our amusement she will never be safe.

Take a Walk in These Shoes

I don't know why I get so anxious about job interviews. I know I don't say anything stupid, but it is hard to go in when I know that I am being judged and I am being put on the spot. Thank god I have a mother who frequently puts me on the spot. I wouldn't know how I would act otherwise. I don't say stupid things but I often walk away feeling dumb or like I said the wrong thing. Oh Well.

Yesterday I had a preliminary interview with Wells Fargo on the phone. Today, I got a call back. I am too nervous to return the call. I don't know why I am so afraid.

Today, I interviewed at Ismelda's Shoes. I know I said the right things. It is a good opportunity. I can work 30+ hours weekly, can qualify for health care, 401K, paid vacation, raises, etc. I will need to buy fancy fashionable clothes though. And I won't find out till the end of next week.

It went well. I told them that I enjoyed meeting people, that I enjoyed helping people, and that I like being knowledgeable about products, etc. I also let her know that I was planning on continuing school in the Spring.

What a nice job it would be.

Brennan went for an interview today, at Spun DJ Academy and he got the job. I am glad for him. He will be paid based on the enrollment in classes time the hours he teaches. It will be good.

Things are coming together.
I just need to get my job now.

LAX to PDX in 34 Hours

May 31, 2006
5:30am - wake up first time
6:30am - wake up second time and get out of bed.
7:00am - pack 3 large boxes, 1 camping backpack, 1 timbuk2 bag, and a bicycle in my mom's itty bitty mercedes.
7:55am - gas up the car and smoothie up our bellies
9:15am - arrive at Union Station
9:23am - unpack all my bags, put them on a cart, check in, Brennan runs upstairs to check my bike
10:00am - get on the Starlight Express to Portland, OR.

June 1, 2006
10:00pm - arrive in Portland, OR

I will have been on this train for over 34 hours. We have eaten 3 meals in the dining car, I have had one meal in the snack car, we have spent hours watching the ocean from the viewing lounge, and hours sleeping in our seats. I have been by the ocean, through farm lands, across the mountains, and under tunnels, upstairs, downstairs, and in a bajillion seats.

I started my life with Brennan yesterday. We spoke for hours of it, about marriage, eloping, living together, our lives, and all those wonderful things. Eloping? No. But it was agreed that we might as well be doing it. Perhaps my mother wouldn't be too happy to hear such news. But it is starting and I am excited.

He said it felt like a dream. I can't agree, but it doesn't seem real either. Not surreal, but perhaps it hasn't hit me yet.